Monday, July 8, 2013

Are We Judging Too Much?

Card from Housewives Tarot by Paul Kepple & Jude Buffum

Judgment.  We all do it.  Whether we judge other people or ourselves, it is something that we all do at one time or another, for one reason or another.  Some judge more than others and some say they don’t judge, but their actions prove otherwise, and they are judged for judging even though they say that they don’t judge.  It’s a vicious circle. 

Let’s face it, we have to judge in our lives in order to protect ourselves.  What foods are best for us, what situations may or may not be the best for our well being, and what people may or may not fit best into our lives.  We have to do it; however, I believe that it is sometimes taken to an extreme to our own detriment. 

It is interesting to me that when someone decides to get rid of a pet for their own personal reasons that they are chastised for doing so but when someone wants to get rid of a person in their life that they receive all kinds of accolades and support for their decision.   

For example, I once witnessed a barrage of insults on someone who chose to get rid of a dog because they were extremely destructive and the person just couldn’t handle it anymore.  They had a couple of small kids and having a destructive puppy on top of it was just too much for them to bear.  The insults that ensued were unbelievable, stating that it was just the puppy’s nature and they needed to be more patient and wait for the puppy to grow out of the destructive stage.  Another example is coyote attacks in rural neighborhoods.  I have seen numerous people say the same kind of thing….we are on their land, we pushed them out by the increased human habitation and we need to learn how to live with them.  Take the proper precautions.  These same people who insult people for getting rid of an animal and preach that we need to live in harmony with animals and learn from them are the same people who throw away people because the friendship doesn’t suit their needs.

Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some people that we need to cut out of our lives.  We need to protect ourselves and make sure that only people that are for our highest good are included in our lives, but are we just quick to judge who is right and who is wrong for us?  I am of the belief that everyone is in our life for a reason.  There are lessons to be learned from every person that we come in contact with.  This does not mean that every experience with every person has to be a positive one.  Challenging people and challenging circumstances are to be learned from.  I have cut people out of my life for one reason or another so I am not claiming to be perfect by any means.  Some of those people will remain out of my loop but there are some that I am wondering if it was the correct decision.   

Sometimes we cut people out of our lives because we just don’t want to deal with them….they aren’t detrimental to our health, they aren’t “pretend-a-friends” who have ulterior motives…they are people who we just don’t want to deal with or we just don’t want to make time for.  Perhaps they are needy, negative or difficult to deal with.  Does that mean they aren’t worthy of any kind of friendship with anyone?  Does that mean that they don’t have anything to teach us or they can’t learn anything from us?  Right off the bat they can teach us acceptance and patience.  If you dig deeper and discover who they really are underneath the neediness, negativity or difficulty, they may have a lot more to offer if you take the time to get to know them….and in doing so perhaps the needy person won’t be as needy or the negative person won’t be as negative because they were given the time to be heard or the difficult person wont be as difficult because they have learned to let go a little bit because of their friendship with you.  Each one of us has something to offer.   We all need to live in harmony with each other…not just wildlife, but the wildlife gets more consideration than people do and that saddens me.  We should accept people who are different than us or have different beliefs than us.  That does not mean that we have to be friends with every person who resides on Earth because that just isn’t realistic.  We are different for a reason.  However, we CAN respect those differences and we quite possibly can gain a lot of insight by befriending those people whom we don’t really want to deal with on a regular basis.  If you find yourself attracting a certain type of person that you would rather repel, maybe you are meant to learn a lesson from that kind of person, and until you learn that lesson, you will more than likely continue to find yourself attracting that type of person.   

The bottom line is that we all deserve respect, time and consideration.  We all have our own challenges in life and every single one of us may not be the perfect type of match for another person but those differences can be learned from.  Don’t dismiss a person because they aren’t the type of person that you necessarily want in your circle.  You never know what they can offer you if you give them a chance, or, what you can teach them.  By not giving people a chance, you run the risk of not seeing another side of things, not seeing beauty through the eyes of someone else, not learning a new skill, not appreciating diversity and the beauty within it.  Open your heart and mind to new possibilities.  Definitely choose your relationships wisely, but I ask that you really think about the reason for releasing a relationship before you do so.  You could be giving yourself a great gift, or better yet, a gift to someone else……a fabulous new friend.

Just something to think about.

Have a beautiful week!



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